August 12th

so this week was grand! we have this girl nastya i’ve told you about before (i think) and it’s incredible to see the transformation before our eyes–“when the Spirit touches hearts, hearts are changed”. Nastya met with missionaries about 2 years ago and prayed about it all and felt like she didn’t get an answer so she just moved on and kept looking for “her path”…then we met her and asked if she’d be willing to give it another try and she agreed. we’ve been teaching her for the past few months and each lesson has been wonderful! but she’s definitely taking her time and she was kind of hard to read. but this last week was a turning point and she’s just opened up so much for to us and she came to church last Sunday, then she came to FHE on Monday for the young single adults. she asked if it was okay that she was there, because most of the people there were members and i said, “OF COURSE! we LOVE having you here!” and she said, “oh good, because i feel such a connection with all of the members of the church, but then there’s always that smalll part of me that questions myself and i think, ‘maybe i don’t belong’ and i just wasn’t sure if i was the only one feeling that connection…” i hugged her and assured her over and over that the feeling’s mutual haha 🙂 she had a wonderful time and just watching her talking and laughing and playing games and making friends with all of the members that our young singe adults was like watching my child open his presents on Christmas morning! i guess i don’t have children, but i imagine that that’s what it feels like. I was just beaming! and so was she. on wednesday night after english club, the elders announced that their friend they’ve been teaching would be getting baptized on saturday and invited everyone to come. Thursday night we wanted to call Nastya to invite her and see if she could come but we were busy calling other people setting up lessons for the next day and then we looked at the clock and it was too late. i’m SO glad we didn’t call her because on friday she called US!  i don’t know if that sounds weird…but having someone else take the initiative and herself call is just a MIRACLE tender mercy best thing ever and i almost peed my pants when nastya called and just said, “hey…i remember hearing something about a baptism….is it okay if i come?” YES NASTYA it is more than okay! “are you sure it’s not too personal..i don’t know him”…that’s okay! he wants to share this with everyone “okay because i just know that for me it will be personal”. jaw dropped to the floor but i kept my cool. key words: it will be. no ifs or maybes. IT WILL BE! and the rest of the story just confirms that it will be.

on sunday (yesterday) she came to church again and afterwards we had a lesson with double members present because everyone loves her and wants to be in on the lessons and loves missionary work and it’s the best! we finished the Plan of Salvation. We had taught parts one and two and we wanted to review and then teach about what happens after this life. we approached it in a totally different way than normal because we thought about Nastya and her needs and what she would personally need to hear in order to understand. We used a LOT of scriptures. and i mean a lot. and we went super into detail and tied in the need for ancient scripture and modern revelation and the need for prophets–so that we can understand these eternal truths and connect them and apply them in our lives..so that we can have answers to these questions of our soul. we also tied in temples, and the member present unexpectedly shared this beautiful, sacred experience from the temple and it was completely appropriate at this time and setting and the Spirit was SO strong and after her story we all just testified and shared our love for the Savior and for this Plan and for her, there was one part in the lesson, after we finished putting all of the puzzle pieces together (sister carver has this awesome wooden puzzle plan of salvation thing in russian), Nastya took the puzzle into her own hands and said, “okay let’s talk about this” and we reviewed and discussed and clarified and answered questions. at the end of the lesson, i reminded her that she had done that, and I asked if she could do that with the Lord: “okay, let’s talk about this.” she said she would and I know that the Spirit is just engulfing her right now and that she’s being prepared to take the next step.

She said she was surprised by her reaction to the baptism/how she felt afterwards. she said she didn’t feel joy or the desire to sing the hallelujahs…she felt a weight, almost…and she thought about the seriousness of it and the responsibility of it. at first i was also kind of surprised by that reaction–i wouldn’t say that it’s particularly common or that it was what i expected or hoped she’d feel…but then i thought about it and i had an epiphany! we explained that baptism is a very serious step-it’s a commitment. and commitment can be scary. but it’s not a commitment of perfection–it’s a commitment of desire and effort. And when you’re ready to make that kind of commitment, then you feel joy and you want to sing the hallelujahs!

Nadya, one of the members on the lesson with us, explained to Nastya that it’s like when you’ve tried a delicious treat, and you give it to someone who’s trying it for the first time. you sit and watch with excitement and anticipation because you KNOW how delicious it is and you just can’t wait till the person experiences it for the first time. but if you’ve never tried the delicious treat and you watch someone else try it for the first time and you watch other people who have tried it…and they’re so excited and you think to yourself, “i don’t get it, what’s the big deal with this cream puff? it must be serious business…” and it is. cream puffs are serious business. i don’t know if that makes sense but it did when Nadya explained it and it was awesome.

anyways, we are so excited for this coming up week and to keep doing what we’re doing because it is the best.

unfortunately my dear sister carver is sick sick sick!! in the lesson yesterday we were all crying, but she was extra emotional and it reminded me of when i was in high school and i used to stay home from school sick and i was home alone and i’d watch pocahontas by myself and cry hysterically. i always get emotional watching pocahontas, but when sick, my emotions go crazy and that’s what happened to sister carver yesterday and right now she’s sniffling and puffy eyed at the computer next to me. so sad. i made chicken alphabet noodle soup for her and have been pounding her with vitamin c so hopefully she will be better soon and hopefully i can come off conqueror with no sicknesses…so far i’ve been SO blessed with health on my mission.

so those prayers must be working–keep praying for me!! i love you!!!

and the waterfall picture was awesome–keep them coming!

p.s. here’s a quote for my precious photographer (this time i mean blake): “you young men, you are a royal priesthood. do you ever pause to think of the wonder of it?”

LITERALLY pause, blake, and think of the wonder of it…for 5 minutes at least. then keep reading: “you have had hands placed upon your heads to receive that same priesthood exercised by John who baptized Jesus of Nazareth. With worthiness in your lives, you may enjoy the comforting, protecting, guiding influence of miniestering angels. No individual of earthly royalty has a blessing as great. Live for it. Be worhty of it, is my plea to each of you” -Gordon B. Hinckley.

ditto to President Hinckley. Blake, I am so proud of you. I love you and pray for you everyday so that you will be brave and know who you are–know that you’re a son of God and He trusts you with His power! think of the wonder of it. He is so proud of you with every good decision and every good thought and every kind word. Keep being the angel that you are. It’s so worth it! I’m so proud to be your big sister.

August 5th

I’m so glad you are back safe and sound! you forgot to send me pictures, though! it’s okay, i will send you some anyways.

i loved hearing about the changes of hearts and almost got teary eyed reading tyler’s sweet note in spanish. i’ll have you know that the gift of tongues is real because i don’t remember a single word in spanish and can’t even say, “hello, my name is..” anymore because my mind only functions in russian and english now…but i was able to read that without a problem and understood every word! woohoo!! i’ll have to practice speaking when i am home with dad and kevin so that i can join the troops with nicole and we can all keep secrets from mom! jess can just speak italian and parker can speak portuguese and it will all work out. haha just kidding mom, we love you.

we had a verrrry busy week. people are constantly filtering in and out of their vacations so this INCREDIBLE girl luba (i sent a picture last week) finally came back from her trip to vietnam only to say she was leaving for kazan in 48 hours! but we were so touched when she texted us and said, “but i can meet tomorrow!” we had planned on getting on a train around 5 pm to get to tver (a different city) around 9 for our split but sister carver and i talked about it and decided that we can’t give up a single opportunity to teach–this is salvation and it’s more important than sleep! ha! so we said “of course!” and pushed everything back. we had an incredible lesson in a member’s home and the Spirit was so strong as the member (our bff Nadya who just turned in her mission papers), recited the First Vision and testified of the Restoration. I will do anything to feel that Spirit again and again and I’m so grateful that I can add mine, that I know that Joseph Smith knelt in the grove that day and sincerely sought truth. So he turned to the source of all truth and prayed to God, with faith that he’d receive an answer. and he did. and that answer changed the world. I’ve been thinking about how incredible revelation is. it is God’s communication with His children. Ancient prophets recorded their revelation, then Joseph Smith, through revelation, translated that revelation. We can read this revelation and pray about it and receive our own revelation about it’s truthfulness. It’s a miracle.

Last night after church, we taught this girl named Masha (also a friend of Nadya’s….Nadya is the best). And Masha told us that she gets so distracted and starts believing the words of others and then it’s so confusing as she studies all different religions so she decided that she couldn’t join any of them, because she needed to stop listening to other people and just focus on her relationship with God–ask Him what to do and dictate her decisions accordingly. We were so impressed by her wisdom and her sincere desires. and she was raised Russian Orthodox, yet she said–“you know what? i decided that praying to icons is so distracting and so i decided to just turn to the Almighty God Himself” and she lifted her hands above her head and looked up…then she said, “and I told Him that I was stupid and foolish and that I was easily confused. I told Him that I needed Him to tell me, not through symbols or signs, but in words–in a way I could understand–so that I’d know what to do” we sat in awe as she continued, “and I’ve really come to learn how God communicates with me, personally. Sometimes I just get these thoughts–and it is very clear that it is from God”. this is how i felt about that: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt like she was teaching me, and not the other way around. I know that right now she not particularly looking for religion, because she was raised in a world where the true meaning of religion has been distorted. I am so grateful that our religion is a unified set of beliefs that have taught us how to create that personal relationship with God. I’m so grateful that we are taught that questions are good and that God knows and loves us personally and we are not “bothering” Him with mundane minutia when we, as His children, turn to Him for solace, comfort, counsel, answers, peace…or just for someone to listen. Nothing is impossible for Him. I don’t know how it works, but I know that it is true–that He can listen to all of our prayers and answer them all. And that when we are searching for answers, we don’t need to turn to man, we can turn to God. 

I’ve had to do a lot of this myself lately, really asking Him for the strength to trust Him. We were able to go to Ryazan last week and it was a dream being there. Just walking those streets. I can’t explain it. But randomly it was a paratrooper holiday and the morning of we got a text from our leaders saying it was dangerous and we needed to be off the streets by 6. we had a lesson planned with raya and her husband for 7:30! and that’s when she gets off work. My heart broke. We’re not allowed to visit her at work anymore, because her boss is anti. but we walked by, and she saw us and came running out (risking getting in big trouble with her boss). just seeing her and hugging her for a few moments meant so much to me! she told us she’s been having some doubts and right now is a really hard time for her. then we had to tell her we couldn’t meet with her that night—her eyes just killed me. the next day we found out that because three sisters are leaving this transfer and no one’s coming in, they’re shutting down ryazan for sisters for this transfer. I couldn’t sleep at all saturday night and I fasted so earnestly on sunday. i’m so worried and my heart is so broken, but i just have to trust that He knows better than I do. And we’re just praying for the Ottleys (the senior couple down there) and for the one set of elders that will be carrying the weight of an entire city on their shoulder. I know that the Lord works in mysterious ways and i just keep reminding myself of the words, “so long thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on.”

because it’s a transfer week, sister carver and i don’t have any splits this week so we have mega plans for working our butts off in our own area and we’re really excited about it. and speaking of transfers, are mission’s being flipped upside down and there are SO many changes (at least with the sisters there are)…there are only three companionships that are staying the same, and guess who’s one of them?! sister carver and i!!! we can’t believe it!! we are soooo happy!!! this transfer coming up means that we will now have served half of our missions together hahahahah it’s so crazy. but it’s the biggest blessing. 

i love you family!! i hope you have a great week! 

 

July 29th

Dearest family,

this week was quite the adventure, as usual. tuesday we had district meeting and then had a lesson with this girl also named raya (we call he raya the younger to avoid confusion). raya has a member friend who introduced her to us and then we had the first lesson and halfway through, raya told us she’s muslim. after that first lesson, she was “busy” a lot and we just kept praying for her and then a month later, out of the blue, she texted us saying she missed us and wanted to meet!!! MIRACLE! she is the sweeeetest–so beautiful and humble and bashful. so kind and sincere. we met with her and with her member friend (who’s preparing to go on a mission and is incredible) and we sang hymns together and talked about the doctrines we can learn from the lyrics. the spirit was very strong and we also talked about prayer a lot—more in depth than usual. and actually that’s been the theme of this week! 

 

our district meeting was one of the best ever and there was such a special spirit there and it was about prayer and our district leader, elder hermansen, read one of my favorite quotes in the world, and definitely my favorite quote from “Jesus the Christ”

 

“prayer is not compounded or words, words that may fail to express what one desires to say, words that so oten cloak inconsistencies, words that may have no deeper source that the physical organs of speech, words that may be spoken to impress mortal ears. the dumb may pray, and that too with the eloquence that prevails in heaven. prayer is made up of heart throbs and the righteous yearnings of the soul, of supplication based on the realization of need, or contrition and pure desire”

 

i could go on and on for days about how much i love that and how much that has impacted my life, but instead i’ll just invite you to really think about each word of that–each word that tells about the inadequacy of words and how prayer is a type of divine communication so much greater than words.

 

so at district meeting we discussed prayer and shared experiences and then we listened to beautiful instrumental music and took the time to really ponder and make a list of things we can do to improve our personal prayers and it has made a huge difference in my week. 

 

then the next day we were in lipetsk and they had their district and sister carver and i almost started laughing because it was also about prayer and verrry similar. Truly the Lord was trying to communicate a message to us and knows our needs. We were in lipetsk for two days instead of one because the sisters there have been bed ridden for three weeks and so we had to spend some more time there, doing all we could to help…everything from grocery shopping, cooking, contacting, going through their area book and calling everyone in it, teaching lessons with them, etc. etc. then we took a bus to voronezh and did a split with them! so much fun. 

 

we got back on saturday and on saturday night oksana (our bff who just got back from her mission in st. petersburg and always wants to help us) invited us over to make tacos and told us to bring investigators. so we did!! and our bffs aksana and yuri (the awesome couple that remind me of kieran and ange) came and we had the best time. we made delicious tacos and pancakes haha (russians love their pancakes….they’re more like crepes…) and sister carver and i brought a cake and decided that putting the cake IN the crepes and wrapping it up would be a good idea. and it was.

 

 i’ve been studying doctrine and covenants 76 recently and i’ve been particularly thinking about this sentence: “we meditated and the Lord touched the eyes of our understandings and they were opened”…I’m trying to turn my personal prayers into pondering, meditative, sacred time when i reflect and listen–not just speak. anyways, i love you all and hope that you take the time to personally communicate with the Almighty God who also is your loving Heavenly Father…who is waiting to hear from you…. Who is waiting for you to turn to Him with your heart throbs and the yearnings of your soul so that He can comfort and counsel and heal you.

 

Also whilst studying prayer this week I was reminded of an experience I had a few years ago that helped me understand prayer better that I would like to share with you. When I participated in that double-blind study for Jean Brown that was researching pain killers for wisdom teeth removal. One person was given 1000mg, the other 500mg, and the other a placebo. They told me beforehand that after the surgery, we would have to wait an hour for the pain killers to kick in, but then if they were not enough, we could ask for “back-up” pain killers. Because it was a double-blind study, they told me that they would not offer me any kind of back-up pain killers because it may imply something, but that I  could ask for some myself. After the surgery, they came in every 30 minutes and asked about my pain level from 1-10 and I quickly realized that I had been given the placebo. Every time, I answered “10” and was baffled as they indifferently marked it on their charts and walked out of the room. I remembered that they told me that back up pain killers were available and I was so frustrated and confused as to why they weren’t giving me any when I was CLEARLY in need and they KNEW that I was suffering level 10 pain. After 4 or 5 hours, all of the sudden I remembered a simple phrase I had somehow forgotten: I had to ask for them myself. I anxiously waited another 30 minutes for the nurse to come back in and when she asked me for my pain level, I said, “TEN! can I have pain-killers?” and the nurse, relieved, said, “YES!” and it was obvious to me that she had been just as anxious as I was…that she was sick of seeing me suffering and it was probably really hard for her not to say anything. I had completely forgotten about this experience and never considered its significance but as we discussed prayer in district meeting, I was reminded of the Bible Dictionary definition for prayer which says there are blessings that the Lord is waiting to give us, but they are CONDITIONAL upon us asking. He will not interfere with our agency, and though he knows our needs, we must ask. A lightbulb went off and I shared this story with my district. The Lord has commanded us to pray and though He knows our needs, we have to ask for the blessings ourselves. Sometimes we lay in bed, so frustrated because we know that the Lord knows that our pain is at level 10—why isn’t He coming to our rescue? But we forget to get on our knees and ask Him to.

 

here are some pictures!! (because we found out that there are public libraries in russia! who knew? so we registered and we can upload pictures from here woohoo!)

 

1. my beautiful russia

 

2. 4th of july sunshine! (split in z-grad)

3. us with this girl Luba we’re teaching! she’s currently in vietnam on vacation but we hope she comes back soon!

4 smolensk!

5. fairy land park

6. in lipetsk…saying goodbye to elder harris who just went home

7. we went bowling right before this and neither of us broke 100 but we still had a grand old time and it was fun bonding with other missionaries

 

*sorry they are out of order!

 

July 22nd

first,
i wanted to say this last week but i forgot—DAD. i’ve been thinking about you a lot and as I pray i just feel so overwhelmed with gratitude and just truly thank the Lord for you and for your devotion. devotion to mom and devotion to us and then i realized that it all goes back to your devotion to God. thank you!! i love and miss you so much!!

and mom. i haven’t forgotten about you. this morning i read something in personal study and it made me just beam with pride because my mama is not just a teacher, she’s the best teacher in the world. and  teaches at school, at church, and at home–the most important school of all. so this is for you mama: “teaching is the noblest profession in the world. upon the proper education of youth depend the permanency and purity of the home, the safety and perpetuity of the nation. the parent gives a child an opportunity to live; the teacher enables the child to live well” -President David O. McKay.

my parents are the coolest. have SO much fun in costa rica and BLAKE take soooo many pictures, okay? i got a little teary eyed reading what dad said about how you taught in Deacon’s quorum about the sacrament and how special it is to you to be graced with honor to pass it. you truly are representing the Lord and everytime i show people pictures of you, i say, “vot, nastayashee angel” which means, “Look, a real life angel” that’s you blake. i love you.

kev–i’ve been praying for you and i hope you nailed all your finals and take care of tyler and andy on the trip hhahaha sister carver is the best and is now in on all inside jokes i have with all humans because we’ve spent so much time together and we are One and so she sometimes quotes tyler and says, “you’re grounded” hahaha and speaking of tylers and inside jokes—tyler, lauren, maddie, carley & co, sister carver and i always say, “happy 6 month anniversary my babe. oooooo i love you”…ESPECIALLY when it real life was our anniversary in russia. we said it all day. tis the best.
anyways, here is a scripture that i’ve been thinnking about recently: “cast all your cares unon the Lord, for He careth for you.” i can’t think of more beautiful words and a more beautiful truth. i don’t have access to my scriptures and forgot to write down the reference but i thiiiiink it’s philipians 4 sometime before the :i can do all things with Christ who strengtheneth me” verse. or something like that.

anyways, this week was grand. we went to smolensk round 2 and it was awesome and on saturday we got permission to switch our p-day kind of (so i’ll be hitting the streets after i write to you) because we have these people we’re starting to teach and they;re a couple and they’ve been together for 6 years and they remind me SO much of kieran and ange. they are seriously the russian kieran and ange and so obviously im obsessed with them and always want to be with them. They’re names are aksana and yuri and they work on mondays but they really wanted to show around town and adventure with us and they have a car which is realllllly unusual and so they picked us up and we went to all of these different parks and we bladed and picniced and strolled and it was SO fun! moscow parks are UNREAL and it was kinda rainy and we’re just surrounded by forests and it smells so good and is so green. it’s even more green and foresty than new hampshire!! i was in heaven.

then saturday night we were joined by our ksyoosha. she leaves for her mission tomorrow (she’s going to the spain mtc and then to the st petersburg mission) and she got set apart last night and she’s staying with us and we’re in a threesome kind of and it’s the best!! nicole, it’s given me a tiny taste of what it would be like to serve with a native. it’s so awesome doing EVERYTHING in russian–ccompanionship study, chatting before bed, everything. and she’s such an incredible example and we’ve felt the Spirit SO strongly just flooding us these last few days. We forgot she’d be with us sunday and already set us a lesson with a member present so it turned out to kind of just be a lesson with double members present because ksyoosha (now sister krooshkina) wasn’t set apart yet. We taught about the Atonement’s role in the Plan of Salvation and it was so incredible. I was just so touched as I studied and prepared and then taught and testified. I know that Jesus Christ is the reason that I am who I am and that I am where I am and I’m without end, eternally grateful. I can’t describe it for even a second. but nastya, the girl we taught, stayed for all three hours of church after our lesson. it was incredible, and the first speaker in sacrament meeting stood up and said, “today i would like to speak on the Plan of Salvation. And i want to specifically focus on the Atonement” hahah we just started laughing! the Lord is so aware of us!
After church we booked it to a lesson with the chinese family we’re teaching and sister krooshkina was with us AND the only chinese member in moscow, Mike. hahhahhahahah sooo much miscommunication happened. we thought we were going over to their apartment ffor dinner. mike was an hour late. it was pouring rain. and turns out they live in a tiny flat with tons of other families so there were too many of us and they planned on us just meeting at the park but it was raining so we stood in between the two sliding doors of a grocery store (like you walk through sliding doors and then there are grocery carts and then another set of sliding doors into the store) and mike and the mom just ratttttled off in chinese and would laugh and point at us hahha but in a friendly way? and then randomly they’d say something in english to us like, “ohhhh i really like eat beer” hahah so we were like, “ohh okay so they’re talking about the word of wisdom now” hahahha it was the funniest times. and me and sister carver and sister krooshkina just chatted in broken english with the father and played with the baby. they are the best. and want to learn more! they have zero religious background but are so open and kind and we love their family SOOO much. mike is from taiwan (shout out to caleb!) but is leaving for a vacation in sweden for a month and we’re doomed!!! maybe they can skype with chinese members or missionaries? i don’t know. we brought them a book of mormon in chinese but it was in traditional chinese so we need to get a simple chinese one. crazy stuff. chinese is hysterical to listen to.

anyways, i am happier than ever.

right now we are in the shmancy “computer lounge” because the post office is closed and this is the only one we can find but we are alone in this huge room with dimmed lights and big screen computers and french music and velvet arm chairs hahahhahahah it’s hysterical.

anyways, i love yoU!!!!! have a great week!

 

July 15th

dearest family,

this week has been miraculous!! sister carver and i craaaacked ourselves up trying to teach this chinese mother who speaks no russian and a littttttttttttttttttttttle bit of english but she is SO sweet and funny and has the cutest daughter in the whole world and so we tried to just teach her that God is our loving Heavenly Father, and she didn’t really understand haha so this should be interesting. and texting trying to set up the lesson was hystericallllll hahahahhah and she wanted to meet at a “children’s amusement park” and we were so confused, trying to picture disneyland or something, but we showed up and it was a bench with a swingset and slide hahahah and she just says the funnniest things (mostly because everything is funny in a chinese accent) but man we already love her and her family so much and we gave her a restoration movie she can watch in chinese and committed her to watch it with her husband and they invited us over for dinner this next week and are going to make us chinese food and we’re going to bring with us this member who’s from china so he can translate and so we can start teaching them about how they can be together forever.

i was so touched by what you shared with me from ian’s talk—i wish i could have heard it–IAN i love you so much. you have always been a hero of mine, ever since we were in miss solk’s class together but somehow didn’t even talk that much ahhahah

anyways, yesterday was out of control. in the best way. sister carver and i decided the day before to fast for this girl we’re teaching named nastya who met with the missionaries a few years ago and prayed and felt like she didn’t receive an answer so she decided to keep searching for “her path”…we met her and asked if she’d be willing to give it another try…..and turns out she’s been reading the Book of Mormon still and is in 3 Nephi–the part that she’s been waiting for–when Christ comes to the peoples n the Americas. sister carver and i realized what a vital time this is for nastya to receive the answer she’s been looking for so we decided to fast and seriously, the heavens just opened up and the Lord always blesses us way more than we ever expect when we just show our willingness to be obedient and then to go a little beyond and to sacrifice. 

none of those we teach showed up for sacrament meeting and we were so bummed…and we sat down in Gospel Principles and the theme was “sacrifice’ and we turned to each other and shared that we had both immiediately thought about karina—another person we teach who i told you about a few weeks ago who is a MIRACLE but who left to go out of town (like everyone else!!). anyways, we thought, “boooo we wish karina was here for this, this is exactly what she needs…” and BAM!!! in walked Karina. she got back from her trip from greece yesterday and was SO sad she overslept today and missed sacrament meeting and kept saying throughout the day what a pity it was that she missed sacrament meeting.

we were sooo grateful and started praying in thanksgiving—it was indeed just what karina needed to hear and she participated and asked so many questions….and i mean SOOO many questions…but really good questions. she reallllly wants to understand and be able to apply each principle of the Gospel and each aspect of each principle. our Gospel Principles teacher is also the ward mission leader and his name is Kostya and he is AMAZING! so wise and so kind and never judges anyone and he reallllly knows the Gospel and has such a beautiful testimony. anways, Karina kept asking questions and so we just stayed sitting down and everyone left after sunday school to go to relief society and priesthood, but we stayed and it turned into a lesson with a member present. halfway through, in walked nastya!! the one we were fasting for! so she joined in but then after church was over and the lesson with karina was still going and we realized we needed to teach nastya the lesson we had planned and give her equal attention so kostya had to leave and we ran in the hall and grabbed two members in our ward (both young returned missionaries who are now ward missionaries and the paragan of who i want to be when i grow up—seriously my role models) so we did a member split and sister carver stayed with karina and it turned into the second lesson with a member present–this time with darina….and this member oksana came with me and nastya and we taught her separately and had an incredible lesson as we read together most of Alma 32 and talked about planted the seed–which is the Word of God, which is the Book of Mormon–in our hearts. reading and pondering and praying about it…and then nourishing that faith–that desire to know–and paying attention to feelings of spriitual growth and englightenment because that’s how we know whether or not something is true….light is discernible and light is truth and truth is from God. it was such a beautiful lesson and oksana was incredible!!! and then when it was over, i joined back in with karina and darina and sister carver. then darina had to leave and this other member alexander walked in hahah so we had a four hour lesson with Karina and taught her all of the lessons and all of the commandments and it was really three lessons with members present…just back to back. (plus a lesson with nastya and a member present), and our lesson with karina ended with her asking if she could ask her billionaire friend to sponsor the construction of a temple in moscow (ahhahahha we tried to explain that it doesn’t really work that way) AND it ended with a baptismal date!! august 24th. it would be sooner, but she’s going to be in sweden for a few weeks.she’s sooo ready!!  woooooooo! we were exhausted!!! we left for church around 12:30 and got home at 8:30 and did a call session before we went to bed…so wiped out but NEVER happier!! i’m still kind of in shock. 

and i’m so grateful. i literally cannot express my gratitude enough. i also must quote alma 26, like nicole, but i will quote verse 16: “i cannot say the smallest part of which i feel”

haaaaaaaaaaallllleeeeluuuujah!!!

i hope your week is also full of miracles. i love you so much and am so proud to be your daughter, sister, aunt, niece, granddaughter, friend, etc. and i’m so proud to be a missionary at this time and in this place. i love my moscow. and i love you!

July 8th

we visited this babushka on saturday who has parkinsons and i thought about my own babushka and how painful and hard it must be for her. this lady’s name is loodmeela (hahah so hard to smell in english) and she’s so lonely and is reallly realllly suffering. we talked about the healing and the hope of the atonement and sang, “where can i turn for peace” together and it invited such a beautiful spirit.
we had an incredible week this week–we were on splits for the 4th of july and ate watermelon and hot dogs and pb and j for a truly american lunch and we sang all of the patriotic hymns and i got a little choked up when i sang, “i love thy rocks and rills!!” this world is so beautiful. and as we sang to the “Author of liberty” I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude for the freedom we so sweetly enjoy and for the freedom that is spreading—for the very fact alone that i am an amaerican girl living in russia…there was a time when i would not have been free to do so and the very thought chokes me!!
 we contacted our brains out and sister nielson and i had a lesson with this wonderful muslim woman and the spirit was so strong, teaching her about the restoration and invititing her to read the book of mormon. I respect islam so much and sometimes it’s hard for me because i don’t want to hinder something already so beautiful and sacred but then i have a reality check where i realize that the biggest difference is that we believe that Jesus Christ was not just a teacher and not just a prophet, but that He was also the Savior and Redeemer of our souls and that only by Him and through Him we can be cleaned and healed and changed and worthy to live with God and our families in glory forever and ever. And i realize the reality of that truth. and how i really KNOW that it’s not just a nice idea and it’s not fantasy but that it’s true. it’s real. and I realized that I need to boldly testify that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. and so I did. and i promised her that if she will read the Book of Mormon, she will know for herself. I can’t pronounce her name because it’s not a russian name but it sounds like Shakira so that’s what i call her and that’s really funny to me. I pray that Shakira will allow the Spirit to enter her heart and enter her home and teach her truth…I hope she will allow Christ to heal her family and her marriage and i hope her husband will be open to this message.
on saturday we had a ward picnic and it was in the woods and it was magical and such a a success!!  so whimsical and there were games with the scriptures–for example for the Old Testament, they had to shoot these things at this cardboard goliath and for the new testament we did charades and the other teams had to guess which verse we were acting out and for the Book of Mormon there was this pillow fight–trying to knock each other off of this log and it was nephites vs. lamanites and for the Doctrine and Covenants there was the stick pull game that was Joseph Smith;s favorite. then there was food of course and frisbee and volleyball and we had 5 people come who we are teaching right now and they had a great time!! two of them are this couple, Aksana and Yuri and they offered to give us a ride to that babushka’s house afterwards which was SO nice because loodmeela lives an hour outside of moscow and that just so happens to be where they live, too and it’s SUPER rare for people to have cars in russia. i can count on one hand how  many times i’ve ridden in a car this last year+ and i often forget that i know how to drive those things.
anyways. this couple is the best and they want us to come rollerblading with them sometime this week so we’re going to ask our new mission president (who is awesome by the way. not at all a greenie–very busniessman/on top of things, organized and unphased by challenges and also very kind), if we can rollerblade with them and then teach them the gospel after. sounds like my two favorite things in one!! woooohooo!!
so many other lessons and miracles and stories to share but there’s no time. but ohhhhhh how i love you so! have a great week!

July 1st

family!!! you know what’s ridiculous? the fact that today is july 1st. that is preposterous.

tomorrow i meet the new mission president at the mission leadership conference in the mission home and i can’t wait. it’s still very  strange that the sorensons are gone and i alreadymiss them so much and just realized i actually don’t have any pictures of them except for the big mission picture…so sad. but i know the Borders will be wonderful! they are from washington and i’ll tell you more about them after i meet them.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! the killers came to moscow on tour and Brandon Flowers gave a devotional on thursday night and missionaries could come if we brought investigators so we would laugh and say, “let’s go killers contacting” and we invited everyone we knew and we had like 6 people come and it was life changing. i never even knew that i was a killers fan! i was never a not-fan, but i never really listened to them on purpose and now that’s all i want to do (but i’m still just jamming to motab of course). but yep. now i’m the killers’ number one fan and i will go to ALL of their concerts when i get home.

Brandon was so normal and humble and kind. He wasn’t an eloquent speaker or anything but it was as if he was just chatting with his friends and he is secretly so funny. but american sarcasm doesnt translate so us missionaries were craaaacking up (especially me) and the russians were kinda confused haha but they understood when he talked about his testimony and stuff. i didn’t really know what to expect because the word “fireside” doesn’t translate so people just told us that Brandon Flowers was going to come and speak and i didn’t know if he was going to sing or if it was going to be a q&a (whih\ch it was at the end), but he walked in in his shirt and tie holding his scriptures and i realized it was going to be way better than i expected and it was! he talked about his family and his dad’s conversion provesss-he was a catholic and worked at a grocery store and after a decade of saying no (because his wife was a member), he knelt down in the back produce room and prayed about the book of mormon and said he felt the spirit from his toes to his head.

Brandon talked a lot about living in the world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll but just making the choice….he just chose to not get involved and shared his very simple recipe: he goes to church at EVERY opportunity he can, he stays away from pornography, he reads his scriptures and watches general conference talks in his hotel room sometimes, and mormon messages, he tries really hard not to swear haha etc. etc. he is such a good example and so open and honest. he said he watched an interview with brad pitt where brad said that religion is just suffocating and it reminded brandon of something he read in one of his favorite books: Jesus the Christ. James E. Talmage said that because He was sinless, Christ was truly free. And brandon said that he decided to go with James on this one–sorry Brad. Brandon talked about how he loved that idea—and he wanted to be free….truly free…so he decided to make changes and try to follow Christ.

He talked about how often people say that religion is designed for the poor who just need to cling to the hope of a better world, but he talked about growing up in poor and humble circumstances and just knowing that the faith of his family was not because of these circumstances, but rather because the Holy Spirit of God had told them that it is true. He said that now that he’s on the other side of things, he is more and more aware that wealth does not bring happiness and does not suffice or replace faith. The happiest people he knows are the Havens, a regular family in his home ward in henderson nevada. It was so cool to hear his thoughts and his testimony and to shake his hand and get a picture with him. I wish i could send it to you–curse these computers in the post office!

anyways, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and im so grateful.

speaking of graatefuul, yesterday we got to watch the missionary broadcast in sunday schoool/relief society in russian and it was realllly long and i felt bad that we had twopeople with us as church for the first time and it was probably really confusing and intense to be at church for 3.5 hours but i felt the Spirit so strong, and i hope they did, too. when they showed those video clips with the music, i was just overwhelmed with the Spirit and with gratitiude–as it showed children singing “I hope they call me on a mission” and it showed them preparing from such a young age–in the home and at church, in young womens, etc. etc. i couldn’t help picturing such a montage of my life and everything and everyone that helped me prepare for THIS. i am living my dream! and everything i ever learned and felt and experienced, thought, said, did, influenced my decision to serve and influences the way i serve. I remembered in the mtc in our zone at church all of the sisters sang, “the armies of helaman” in russian, but we switched to English as we sang the words, “and we are NOW the Lord’s missionaries to bring the world His truth” and I remember how i felt then and i still feel the same way—so honored, so blessed, so grateful—grateful for the magnitude of the trust of God in me. SO grateful for every young women’s leader, primary, sunday school,  seminary, and MTC teacher. so grateful for my parents and siblings and friends. so grateful for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. And most importantly, SO grateful for the One whose name I wear next to mine–that of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World and my Savior.

I can’t believe that I am here–in Russia–doing what I’m doing. I’m in just as much of a daze as nicole is. Nicole, i love you and am praying for you!

I hope you all have a wonderful week….and you should all listen to the killers. how about magdalena.

The Zone

June 24th

Greetings family!! sorry once again for my late and lame email last week. Everything is moving so fast, i can’t believe sister carver and i have already finished this transfer together and we successfully did splits in each of our 6 areas and looking back we are just in awe at how many miracles we saw–there were NO complications. no getting lost (or at least for too long haha), no missing any trains, no ticket complications, etc. etc. etc. we are so grateful!

last week we took a night train to lipetsk, did a split all day and then the next morning we took a long bus right to voronesh, the farthest city in our mission and did a split there all day then took a night train out that night. we were in moscow for less than 24 hours before we had to get on an express train to the ariport and fly out to riga for our last visa trip (so crazy!) So it was quite a busy week but i wanted to actually tell you more about the week BEFORE, since i didn’t get the chance to do so last week.

So i mentioned Paulina. She’s about 17 and We met her a few weeks ago whilst contacting in a park one evening and we noticed she had a really cool backpack and we had been searching EVERYWHERE for backpacks because we had done a few splits without backpacks and just carried all our stuff in grocery bags and it was a nightmare but for some reason backpacks are really hard to fin in russia. anyways, we walked up to paulina and asked where she got her backpack and she said mexico hahha which is verrrrrrry unusual. i’ve never met a russian who’s been to mexico. she asked if we speak english and started speaking in perfect english and then she said she was so sorry, but she had to go right then. we hadn’t even introduced ourselves yet or said anything about the gospel, but we asked for her number and she said yes and then we were kinda curious as to what we should do next because we hadn’t set up any kind of expectations and all she knows is that we’re americans who want to “hang out” with her or something. so when we called her to meet, we had no idea what to expect but we just prayed that the Spirit would be with us.

we showed her pictures of our families and she was amazed by how “rich and saturated” our lives are and when sister carver showed her pictures of hawaii (she went to byu hawaii), she was like, “no way that’s my number 2 dream!” and so i asked, “well what’s your number one dream? and she got really quiet and it was silent for like 2 whole minutes and i was about to say, “it’s okay, you don’t have to tell us” or “if you think of it later you can tell us” or something like that, but then she said, in russian, “my number one wish is for everything to be okay with my family.” We were wondering as to how we could switch the topic to the gospel and how to switch to russian (because we should always teach in russian and we prefer it anyways) and BOOM, the Spirit flooded into the room when she said those words and we just naturally started teaching her about God and the Restoration and how the Restored Church is the key to happiness in the home and brings with it the promise that we can be together forever as families. It was so beauitiful because we asked her if she believes in God and she said, “Yes…but I don’t really know Him…I don’t really know who He is…” and we said, “Well is that something you want?” and she thought about it for a minute and said wilth all the sincerity in the world, “yes.” Paulina is shy and serious and kind and she really listens and really ponders and reflects. She is so special and we just feel like we’ve been given this incredible gift. She is the oldest child of 4 and her parents are still together and they have a good marriage. Their family serves together and spends time together and travels together. AHHH!! we are so anxious to meet them. Unfortunately the entire Russian population is MIA in the summers because they have “summer homes”—called “dachas” that are in the middle of nowhere in tiny villages far away. But Paulina is with her family on the dacha and she has a Book of Mormon and she now knows how to pray and has a desire to do so because she now knows that she is His daughter and she is praying to her Father who loves her. So we are just praying that the Spirit will teach her these truths and that her family will be open to it. Hopefully they will be back sometime soon…

Our other miracle is Karina. She has known the church for years and comes to English club off and on but has never met with missionaries before. She’s about 40 maybe, though she looks a lot younger and she has a 19 year old son. She’s a karate trainer and MMA and she’s petite and feminine and beautiful but strong and i would not want to mess with her haha We met her for the first time two weeks ago at English club and she just stood out–everything she said was so wise and she just glows and is so full of light and life and she is so funny! the theme for the week was role models and she was talking about whitney houston (not the drug addiction part, but the passion and the talent part) and that’s when i knew karina and i were soul sisters. I asked her if she had ever been to church before and she said she had once but it was a long time ago and she had always wanted to come again but she felt like something was always getting in her way. then she said, “Probably satan” haha i said, “yeah, probably” and invited her to come. I called her on Saturday night to remind her and she said “I’ll try” which we all means nothing. On my mission i’ve learned that “I’ll try” and “we’ll see” are the enemy and “I promise” is like music to my ears!!

Anyways, we still had faith and prayed that she would come and sure enough, we recognized the gait of the person walking in front of us into the entrance of the church. I repeat, walking in FRONT of us. mind you, we get to church 30 minutes early. We were SO excited! She stayed all three hours and the SPirit was so strong and she participated and she knew so many of the members already and made new friends and made origame butterflies for the children and took notes during sunday school!!! it was amazing!!! we told her that unfortuantely the only days we could meet would be thursday or saturday/Sunday because we were out of town all week and she said she was leaving for belarus on thursday morning!! so she asked if we could meet on monday in between her shifts and we said of course!! so that’s why i couldn’t really email last week–we had a 2 hour lesson with karina that started with her randomly telling us how much she loves and respects the principle of tithing, it continued with us teaching the restoration and then her bringing up the word of wisdom, temple marriages, why we don’t baptize babies, the law of chastity, how much she loves modesty, the importance of covenants and commitment etc. etc. etc. and ended with her saying the closing prayer and telling our Heavenly Father that her intuition tells her that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that the Book of Mormon is His word, and that this is His church, but asking Him if He could help her know for sure. She then told Him that she hopes that soon she will be baptized. We were in shock. Obviously it was the best day of our lives!!

Sorry this is a novel but I just had to share these experiences with you! I could not be happier! And don’t worry, sister carver and I are staying together for this transfer. Other news: we get a new mission president next week–I’m SO sad to see the Sorensons go–I can’t express how much I love and adore and appreciate and respect and honor them. They have changed my life forever, but I’m excited to meet the Borders and learn to love them as well. I hope you all have a sublime week! And a Happpy happpppy birthday to my argentinian godess of a sister. Nicole Brook you are my other half and I love you so much. I wouldn’t be who i am today if you weren’t born 20 years ago into our family. I think about you and pray for you always and i hope you cherish this birthday and celebrate with service.

June 17th

ahhh i’m the worst and actually won’t really be able to write today. We met someone on wednesday, she came to church yesterday, and wanted to meet today. Even though it’s our p-day, we couldn’t pass up a chance to teach the gospel so we met with her today at the time we usually write home. then the lesson went way longer than planned (in the best way) and we had to run some errands and got lost trying to find this store and everything took way longer than we thought and our night train leaves in a few hours and we haven’t eaten/showered/packed and the post office closes in 20 minutes! ahhh!! but i just wanted to tell you i love you so much and i didn’t want you to worry about me this week or think i forgot about you!

happy father’s day dad!!! i’m the worst daughter in the world because actually i had NO idea it was father’s day until i glanced at nicole’s email….yikes. russia doesn’t have father’s day–instead they have “men’s day” when all the men celebrate their masculinity and that was in february. but i can’t even begin to tell you how grateful i am for you–you’re a gem and the best father anyone could ever ask for. thank you for your prayers and your devotion to God and to mom and to us.

this week has been incredible!!! TWO HUUUUUUUUUGE miracles came out of nowhere by the means of paulina and karina. Paulina is a 17 year old girl who is super mature for her age and me and sister carver call her “ponderful” because she is pensive and really ponders/thinks things through and it’s wonderful and she’s wonderful. so ponderful. there’s SO much i want to tell you all about her and how we found her and how our lesson went but let me just give you a sneak peak: there was much joyful jigging as soon as she walked out of the room on mine and sister carver’s part. I didn’t think things could get better, but then we met karina. She’s a 40ish woman (who is flawlessly beautiful and looks 30 at the oldest) and she’s a karate trainer and kicks butt and is so strong–physically and spiritually. she’s SO wise and so prepared and ready to make these changes. i can’t wait to tell you all about her.
we went to tver this week and had a wonderful exchange with the sisters there and it’s SO beautiful there and we walked along the volga river and ate icecream before we got on our train back. tonight we leave again, like i said, and we will be gone pretty much the whole week….i’ll explain next week. but pray for us because there will be two night trains, a bus ride, and an airplane this week!!! (we have a visa trip the day we get back from our double splits in lipitsk and voronesh).

Crazy wonderful times. i’ve never been happier or more tired.

i love you!!!